Sean Schemmel Strikes!: How I Pissed Off Goku

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"Bitch, please."

So, we all know that I'm not a huge fan of Sean Schemmel, the voice of Goku in Funimation's English dub of Dragon Ball Z. I've said it enough. I just don't think he's that great in the role. In fact, I've said he's pretty fucking terrible. Granted, he's better than the AB Groupe and Creative Product Corp's dub Gokus, but certainly not as good as Peter Kelamis was in the role for Ocean. It's not a controversial opinion. Many people share my opinion. Anyway, apparently this has caught Mr. Schemmel's attention recently.

On the Sean Schemmel Fanclub (ahahahaha) page on Facebook, Schemmel said this:

In all my ranting about "constructive criticism" vs. "mindless bashing" and all the arguing and debating about new vs. old dub, I'd like to point out Subzero Ice as an excellent debater in all this. He has strong opinions about the dubs, but argues with me in an intellectual, and well thought out manner. He is still ...critical of some of my work, but doesn't bash me mindlessly. Our debates in particular are what I think are a good and healthy way to discuss our opinions and differences. I contrast his behavior to the aforementioned bashing I've received by penguintruth at DaishEx...So I think Subzero Ice's example of how to express your strong opinions about DBZ is a good one.

And then he said this:

Just to be clear, my feelings aren't really hurt, I just think there are some arrogant pricks out there, who think they know it all, but don't have the balls to discuss critiquing in a mature manner. yeah I used the word prick, and that's not so mature, but I'm a little pissed at the arrogant asses that seem to want to bash my work without any ... See Moreexplanation. If you don't like my work, say something like "I don't care for Sean's Goku, because etc.. etc.. and list your reasons" saying things like "aside from voice acting we discover one more thing Sean Schemmel is fucking terrible at" makes you a dick. And yes, I'm calling you a dick. Let's talk. Have a nice day.

Mr. Schemmel sent forward this message to me:

Dear penguintruth,

Now, while I am open to ... See Moreconstructive criticism, or even harsh criticism, I take issue with comments regarding my talent without explanation or reason. See, ultimately, I don't really know if I'm that talented, but what I do know, is that a lot of people who do a lot of hiring of voice talent in the industry seem to think I am because I have been hired by these people over and over to voice act, sing, direct, adapt, and even compose music. I am a classically trained musician and used to direct choir as well as sing in choir, so when you make comments like "if only they got somebody with actual singing talent to sing it" and "so aside from voice acting, we discover something else Sean Schemmel is fucking terrible at", I have to wonder if you have something personal against me, as most of the industry, and many, many people who make creative decisions every day professionally continue to hire me on a regular basis. If you were a real critic, you'd go into some reason or explanation as to why you think I'm "so fucking terrible" and the like. I don't mind criticism, as I believe in subjectivity, but your comments seem mindless and biased, and I'd like to arrange to contact you in person on the phone so I might drive my point home further. Please, if you want to bash me, feel free to do so at sschemmel@yahoo.com. Or if you live in the New York area, we could meet, and discuss my "lack of talent" in person. Or do you have the balls to do that?

In all Sincerity,

Sean Schemmel

And all through this, all I could hear in my head was that silly speech in the DBZ dub where Goku says, "ALLY TO GOOD! NIGHTMARE TO YOU!" But unlike Freeza, I don't really give a shit.

Mr. Schemmel is welcomed to defend himself in the face of my harsh criticism. Voice actors are people, too, and have feelings and professional pride. However, to accuse me of not going into specifics as to why I dislike his Goku is patently ignorant. If you're a reader of my blog, you know I go into specifics about all sorts of trivial crap about anime, voice acting included, and DBZ dubs specifically. Hell, I did an article about it. I did two, if you include my recasting article. And the two articles about Funimation's Kai announcements. I even posted some of the leaked clips of the Kai dub with very positive comments below the embedded videos, if you recall. I'm one thorough anime geek. I don't half-ass what I'm passionate about. Unlike Sean Schemmel.

I find it a little worrying that a professional voice actor, one who has a fucking Facebook fanclub filled with ass-kissers, should be concerned about and address specifically a single detractor in a sea of positive comments. Does this man have no professionalism? He's coming off as a whiny little baby about something that should mean absolutely nothing to him.

I'm not a troll, though, Mr. Schemmel. A troll is a person who goes out of their way to provoke for the simple pleasure of provoking. I may be an asshole, but I'm not a troll. I'm too lazy to put any effort into pissing people off. I just naturally piss people off. Ask anyone who knows me.

However, dear reader(s) (yeah, right), I am a fair man. I am a merciful man. I am a pillar of the douchebag-cartoon-voice-criticism community, you see. I will not pursue this any farther than Mr. Schemmel is willing to take it. I will not attack him on a personal level. I do not know Mr. Schemmel. Maybe he rescues kittens from sewer drains and cures cancer with his farts. Maybe he carves up Russian tourists with rusty meat hooks and wears their skin as a cap. Who knows? I don't care. I'm talking about his lack of voice acting talent.

I have no intention of meeting him, and find his intention to meet me to see if I have the guts to criticize him to his face a thinly veiled personal threat, but I will not take it to heart. We all say stupid things when we're angry. I'm not too cowardly to express my opinions in person, but I don't want you jumping me with a sock full of quarters, either. I will find it difficult to counter a Kamehame-curbstomp.

No, I am not a fan of Sean Schemmel's Goku. For me, it's Masako Nozawa, then in English, Peter Kelamis. Or MasakoX from DBZ Abridged, probably even better than Kelamis. But I'm one person. Challenge my point of view, I'll get back to you. Really.
I mean, I have more free time than Mr. Schemmel. Hm, then again, maybe I don't. He seems to have quite a bit, at least. 

I'd run to Broly for cover, but I say negative things about Vic Mignogna, too.

- PenguinTruth