comic book

That awkward moment you realize you're going to land in the wrong direction to pose on a ledge.

Dick gets tricked, Mother makes wives perfect, and the girls take a trip in this sixth issue in DC's weekly Grayson supplmental... I mean, Batman weekly. This issue is 95 percent flashback, though maybe "flashback" isn't exactly accurate, because Dick can't possibly know all the things that Batman was experiencing and thinking when he wasn't around. Whatever the case, the present mystery of Mother and the Orphan seems to point towards Prague, and after consulting Jason, Dick decides to bring Harper and Cass there with him, and that should be amusing for me and frustrating for Cass/Steph team-up fans, because Harper is Cass' closest ally now.

"I'll teach you not to make me relevant!"

Cass takes a limb, Dick angers Tim, and the artwork looks grim in this fifth issue of DC's weekly Grayson adventure, Batman & Robin: Eternal. We see where Cassandra made her bones, get more of Batman and Robin's pursuit of Scarecrow, Harper makes a quick and clever move, and Tim Drake has a much-needed personality infusion which I hope lasts. Poppy pops up again, Tim's parents' house is... something else, and for Bat's sake, why are there so many different pencilers in this issue?! There's a cop-out, but I won't drop out, when we get a bit more of my favorite Robin's personal life.

Axe me no more questions, tell me no more dies!

Someone's in the kitchen with Grayson, someone's in the kitchen I know-ow-ow, someone's in the kitchen with Grayson, landing a lot of blows! Who isn't in there, though? It's a regular kitchen nightmare in the fourth episode of DC's weekly Grayson extension, I mean Batman tale. Bruce is still addled, the Robin group battles, and an angry Steph taddles! It looks like Tim Drake has a secret allegience, Dick doesn't mind walking around in public with the Hypnos implant, Harper prefers Cass's company to Spoiler's (who wouldn't?), and Duke Thomas is now a somewhat relevant character! So activate your sleeper agent, it's time for me to snark about this issue.

Baby we were born to ruuuuun!

Jason's a knave, Harper  bleeds in the cave, and Bruce needs to be saved in this third issue in DC's new weekly Batman lackey party. I don't know what I have more difficulty believing, that the loser Jason Todd can even keep up with Cassandra Cain for a second or that Tim Drake can continue to be portrayed as the world's dumbest genius. But hey, in a world when you can't trust a cannibalistic spy, who can you trust? Steph coins the term "Batler", Cassie gets offered peanuts for info, Helena expositions, and Beacon Tower is just the worst place in Gotham for Bruce Wayne to be.

I usually get mine on J-List.

In hindsight, Batman decided the LSD experiments were premature.

Not pictured: The actual current Robin

It's time to review Eternal 2, where Cassie debuts, does some badass kung-fu, and when things come unglued, shocking things ensue! It's DC's new weekly Batman saga, hot on the heels of Jim Gordon becoming Batman and Dick Grayson's spy career's growing complications. With Bruce Wayne out of action, Gotham's streets are defended by a group of costumed teens and young adults that the new Caped Crusader has no patience for, and the first Robin uncovers a startling secret his mentor had kept for him for years.

Here comes the sun, doodoodoodoo,

Here comes the sun,

And I say,

It's Dark Knight...

Sibling rivalry.

Look, I love Batman. I'm 31 years old and I've been reading Batman comics most of my life, and I've read a great deal of them, decades worth, just within the past few years. I have a pretty respectable collection of Batman collected editions, from trade collections to original graphic novels. I've seen all the movies, watched most of the TV shows, and I've reviewed 51 issues of Batman Eternal (with the final issue to come next week) for my blog. Aside from Japanese animation, and maybe James Bond, my big fictional preoccupation is the Caped Crusader, the Dark Knight, the World's Greatest Detective. I know my Batman.

The villains are foul, Bruce loses his cowl, to Steph Harper scowls, someone's going to need a towel, and surprise! The man who's an owl! The penultimate issue of DC's weekly Batman event sees a lot of revelations, an overconfident C-lister, Selina asserting her power, Jim Gordon's return to form, and the villain anyone with two brain cells to rub together guessed it would be, turns up. With all the raw nerves exposed and Gotham crumbling and burning, can Batman and his team keep the city from becoming a mountain of ashes? Well, I'm guessing yes, but there's bound to be even more blood spilled before the end of this story!

Blackgate erupts, Alfred shuts Hush up, Steph still disrupts, and this book's time is almost up, all in this action-packed, and yet revelation-deprived forty-ninth installment to DC's weekly Batman event. As the Bat family struggle with their various enemies, Stephanie rejects her father's "We can rule the galaxy together!" offer, Jason Bard races to get to Jim Gordon in time to save him, and Batman makes a flashy, dangerous entrance. Meanwhile, the guy from Gotham Spoilers is hemorrhaging over a lack of main villain reveal (I think he's ready to drop it by next week). Lincoln, Lincoln, I've been thinkin', readers' patience is a'shrinkin'! Are you dense? Are you 'tarded? The big reveal has long been charted!