Introduction + 50-41 | 40-31 | 30-21
20. Broodwich
“It is the Broodwich. Forged in darkness from wheat harvested in Hell's half-acre. Baked by Beelzebub. Slathered with mayonnaise from the evil eggs of dark chicken forces beaten into sauce by the hands of a one-eyed madman. Cheese boiled from the rancid teat of a fanged cow. Layered with 666 separate meats from an animal, which has maggots for BLOOD!”
After going beyond the demanded 14 inches by Frylock, a digging expedition by Shake lands him in a dark pit full of skulls. There he comes face to face with a most dangerous item: the Broodwich. Whosoever eats the Broodwich will be transported to a uniquely designed nether-realm after each bite, so they can be summarily decapitated by a creature with an axe. Eat it all? Well… Good luck.
The idea of a demonic food has been around since that one Treehouse of Horror with the donut, but here it takes a whole other level in amusement. Under the perpetual observation of a disembodied, demonic presence (voiced by the son of Isaac Hayes), Shake enthusiastically consumes the sandwich with reckless abandon. Despite repeated near death experiences he cannot help but enjoy such a near perfect meal (“Bacon is extra!”), and his casual dismissal of Frylock’s worry and the continued goading of “The Voice” is top flight repartee for Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Then when you add Shake’s obsession with Battlefield Earth cups, and an amusingly long segment with the axe murderer and a friend talking about mundane BS, and you’ve pretty much got a classic episode.
Damned shame nobody has ever sought to deliver a definitive Broodwich. However, it hasn’t stopped people from trying
19. Rubberman
“Lap up that free puddin’. Bill Cosby left it… Just for you!”
That featured line… If I didn’t know any better I’d say the Aqua Teens totally foresaw what would happen to Bill Cosby. It’s probably a coincidence, but I’d like to think not. It is funnier that way.
So in an attempt to promote/crack down on safe sex, Frylock crafts a duck made out of used condoms, syringes, and God knows what as his program’s mascot. He wants to call it Clucky the Rubber Litter Ducky, Shake wants to call it Rubberman, and Meatwad wants to call it Lance Potter, brother of Harry Potter. Before that can be finally resolved, Meatwad puts Carl’s G-Man Superfan Fantasy Lamp upon the inanimate duck’s head and voila, HE LIVES complete with his own “Frosty the Snowman”-esque theme!
What follows is quite frankly the darkest “Meatwad gets corrupted by some monster” episode ever. As Lance’s pleasant motif drones in the background, he leads Meatwad down a shady and dirty path… across the railroad tracks (“Three kids got murdered there last year but… OKAY!”). Sure this is all shock value comedy, but it is forever improved by schizophrenic Lance, voiced by the man behind Tranzit on Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Don Kennedy. If he isn’t jovial and copacetic with his “Little Buddy” Meatwad, he is cursing him out and forcing him to murder using that same jovial and copacetic Don Kennedy voice. It’s terrific, and just keeps you primed for laughter whenever Lance opens his latex maw. It’s depraved… AND DELIGHTFUL.
Also Shake makes for the perfect Public Service Announcer regarding safe sex, and George Lowe appears again. That’s quite wonderful.
18. The Dressing
“OUTTA MY WAY! I WILL RUIN THIS BIRD WITH MY ANGER!”
There’s a spectre haunting the Aqua Teens, and in this episode: it’s The Spectre of Christmas Past From the Future. Just as their week-late Thanksgiving dinner is about to begin, a mechanical Turkey named Turkotron appears! ...And then kinda loiters around the house for the rest of the episode despite successfully retrieving the Great Great Great Great Grandfather of Goblox (dead or alive, but actually dead), who will lead the Turkeys in rebellion against the Chicken race in the year 9595!
Who’da thunk we would see the ‘return’ of the Cybernetic Ghost in such a fashion? Like the story of Santa Claus, the tale of Turkotron is a mélange of weirdness that is exponentially improved by his tone so over-the-top in expressing the tale’s importance. However, unlike the deeply purposeful Cybernetic Ghost, Turkotron is easily distracted, and thus allows for a great set of interactions between him and the Aqua Teens (provided of course they don’t interrupt him). Then when his narrative crumbles, it forces him to become hilariously desperate as he opines from the legality of tacos, rogue chickens, and whether or not Carl or Meatwad are secret chicken agents in disguise. The twist at the end also makes the episode, leaving you with a markedly amused feeling of… “Huh. Imagine that.”
Also this episode has the greatest Dr. Weird prologue of all time.
17. Ol’ Drippy
“I’m the guy… that’s going to rake your lawn for being such a big jerk!”
Shake’s negligence for kitchen hygiene inadvertently sparks a ‘miracle’ of modern science in the form of a moving mass of mold Meatwad dubs ‘Ol’ Drippy’. Of course, his new friend causes much pain to our Master Shake, and that means he must suffer… dearly.
This is a shame, because Ol’ Drippy is the nicest character in the show. The bacterial blob is perpetually mellow in his debut episode, endearing and infuriating any and all immediate parties. Even when he does something wrong it’s out of misguided altruism, and is so optimistic that he’ll say a headless, cardboard, woman from a liquor store is something Carl should be happy to have by his side. Then there’s Shake, who is constantly defiant and furious in this episode, as he hates all the attention lavished on Ol’ Drippy. His painful juvenile behavior when met with well-meaning indifference and understanding makes for great moments, and even when Drippy sacrifices himself (twice I might add), Shake remains who he was at the beginning of the episode. It’s a tragicomedy writ large with wincing and laughing all the way.
Sorry Ol’ Drippy, but the universe of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force did not work in your favour. Oh well, at least we had a lot of laughs along the way and you didn’t overstay your welcome.
16. MC Pee Pants
“Aw nizzaist! Dat just grizzae!”
Right from the Dr. Weird intro, this episode gets the engine revving. However, once the immortal opening lyrics “I want candy! Bubblegum and Taffy-“are played, the episode fires on all cylinders. This phat beat by the titular MC Pee Pants (as voiced by the majestic MC Chris), drives Shake, Frylock, and Carl to wit’s end due to dear Meatwad’s exceptional desire to repeat play it ad infinitum. Then there’s all that subliminal messaging in kid songs these days, something about powering a giant drill straight into Hell and how “I Want Candy” might be one of them… Maybe.
This episode knows to hit some big marks then go off on great tangents. It starts out well enough with Frylock’s futile attempts to supply Meatwad with better alternatives but ends up weirding him out with Vivaldi and not placating Master Shake’s Rage (“I like beatings! I’ll beat ya all day!”). Then there’s the bonding between Meatwad and Carl over candy, making the episode descend into even more weirdness. How weird? Sharing Easter Bunnies found near dumpsters and washing Carl’s car around midnight kind of weird. Then it goes off on an even greater tangent when MC Pee Pants reveals himself to our heroes, and boy… it’s anticlimactic, but it’s that insane kind of anticlimax that only this show can pull off well.
You shouldn’t WANT to see “MC Pee Pants” you NEED to see “MC Pee Pants”. And when you need something that’s a big responsibility, which is what an adult would do. You ain’t into that kiddie crap anymore, son.
15. Party All The Time
“Alright! Andrew W.K… LIVE IN OUR LIVING ROOM!”
On this very special Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Frylock finds out he has skin cancer! While he copes with his own mortality, Meatwad and Shake have to cope with the possible reality their friend may not be there for them…
While there is a fair bit of gravitas when it comes to pulling together in the face of death, it doesn’t overwhelm. Instead, it has to share it with Meatwad and Shake’s antics, and the episode is better for it. If it isn’t magazine tossing fights in a clinic reception, it’s Meatwad goading Shake to do some amazingly stupid things, like enlarging his hands by beestings so he can more effectively thrash on his rock guitar, or ingesting scorpions. Then when things get dire and they have to work to save their friend? …They’re still pretty stupid, although points to Shake for a very lateral way of utilizing the time machine to fix Frylock’s condition.
But hey, they got Andrew W.K. to sing his majestic anthem, and grant us a walk cycle that I can’t help but keep laughing at whenever I think about it.
14. The Last One
“Aqua Teens! Come out and meet your doom! For we are Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday—“
Obviously the big villain crossover special has to be on the list. It would be, as Ignignokt would say, mutiny if it weren’t.
When the Mooninites unite a cadre of villains, acquaintances, and annoyances of the series past it ends up just the way you’d expect something the Mooninites would: failure. Seeing them try to exert their authority on a mostly confused, mostly distracted, and at times angry set of miscreants is incredibly fun. Their interactions with them are even moreso, from condescension to Mothmonsterman to being persuaded by somebody like Ol’ Drippy to undertake community service. They’re everywhere, and when they’re not, they’re continuously handicapping themselves through their wanton murder of their guests (best one is with the Frat Aliens), and their dismissal of the Plutonians, for they are t eh suck. Their rapport with the others is top flight in humour and lack of effectiveness, despite the lack of any Aqua Teens to bounce off of.
This is (outside of the final few minutes of the series finale) the only time where the villains came together to take on the Aqua Teen. If you are one who was laughing at what has been mentioned above, then you know that it’s best to savour it then recommend with all your heart and soul.
13. Super Birthday Snake
“And you need to listen to what I say because I’m gonna eat your brains!”
A wonderfully bizarre episode. Instead of getting a bunny rabbit, Meatwad gets a gigantic snake that consumes the poor ball after he follows some horrific advice from Shake. What follows is a rather joyful affair as Frylock has to free a still alive Meatwad from within the depths of Nathan Scott Phillips (the snake’s new name as per Meatwad) without killing both. Unfortunately for him, he not only does that but also kill Shake… And Carl… but… denies ever doing that.
The second half pretty much clinches this episode’s place on the list. It is the first time we’ve ever seen Frylock without the usual foils, and without their surprisingly stabilizing presence he descends into decadence. Frylock cuts waaaaay too loose and it descends into a bloody mess that shows how he can be quite unhinged. Then it caps off with what could’ve been a trying endeavour, with the corpses of Shake, Meatwad, and Carl trying to make Frylock confess his guilt. Instead the entire matter eventually annoys all parties as their serious demeanour is traded for irked snipes of “Yes you did!” and “No I didn’t!” as the Aqua Teens’s house burns down. It’s an ending that only an episode that starts off with Meatwad stapling pipe cleaners on a snake deserves. Then the ending just throws you for an even greater loop, and then boom, you’re all “Haha… What the shit?” Then boom again, and then you’re all “Haha… seriously what the shit?”
How nice of “Super Birthday Snake” to go that extra mile.
12. Total Re-Carl
“Fudge you, butthole.”
Just when you think Carl Abuse can get any more out there, here comes Frylock with a brand new invention. Thanks to an eco-friendly toilet that utilizes jet power instead of water, Carl gets inadvertently sucked into the john, liquefying his entire body sans his head. As per usual, the quest to get his head a new body is met with failure, apathy, and incompetence.
I think what works well with this episode is how Carl is for the majority part completely out of it after his unfortunate accident. Without being able to voice his discontent, it’s pretty much free rein to not just graft his head on top of an old corpse but also to have Meatwad attach Carl’s head to a tree with bungie cords with his usual attire laid out across the ground. Then whenever Carl finds himself retaining consciousness, his tenure is marked with terror, disgust, and indignation over his plight. Then again, this is the guy who didn’t even hesitate twice to partake of a gift basket full of fiber tablets, stool softener, and espresso. So… he kinda got what was coming to him, he should know better that things won’t work well for him.
Another great part of this is Shake and Meatwad’s side roles. Shake nails it with his rather snarky jibes (“Your moment… is movement.”), his proud declaration that a pile of clothes makes for a suitable replacement for an actual bathroom, and of course eye puns. Meatwad makes for merriment as his attempts at grit despite not knowing what an f-bomb actually is (“Far-yar-yar yo fart yourself!”). They help to move the episode along briskly to its inevitable, futile end.
Fartin’ A is Total Recarl a fun episode.
11. Carl
“Normally I wouldn’t do a fat chick from the Flag Corps but uh…. IT IS A NEW ERA HAHAHA! OF LONELINESS! …Oh God.”
Initially I didn’t care much for this episode, but a user in a forum I frequented long ago put things into perspective. What exactly do I expect Carl to do in his first solo episode? Is he gonna go to Applebee’s, come home, read some of the New Yorker and take a nap? Nope, he’ll just be Carl.
This is quite an insightful episode. After setting aflame then pissing upon Meatwad’s dolls (even Boxxy Brown!), Carl reveals a deeply sensitive, considerate, side of him that’s never seen when around the presence of the Aqua Teens (who’re in Panama City on holiday). He’s greener than Greenpeace as he pisses in a coffee can, economical and intuitive as he eats lo mein without utensils or takes phone sex in another’s house, and maintains polite conversation with Meatwad’s dolls even after he did that to them. Character is truly who you are in the dark, and Carl’s shines so bright in this episode.
It’s a shame that it’s bolstered by tragedy when he is murdered for a crime he didn’t commit. Actually wait no; it’s not really much of one. It’s pretty much par for the course for a guy who falls for every sexy lady arm he sees or connects with old high school crushes while covered in lo mein sauce.
One more commercial to go until the Top 10!
