America's Song Embarrasses, Causes Immediate Constipation

There’s a new song sweeping the nation. Sung by some of the music worlds top performers. Stuffed full of imagery from one of the greatest countries in the world. That song, is America's Song. That song, is cause for emigration. America's Song debuted the other day on the Fat Opera Winfrey Show. The single was produced by Wil.I.Am and composed by David Foster (Canadian). As though they thought the song wasn’t doomed to fail from that combination they somehow managed to squeeze in Mary J Blige, Seal, Faith Hill, and someone doing a bad Bono impression. The song starts of promisingly by attempting to shoehorn in Hawaii and make it rhyme with "sea,"
From Delaware to Tennessee to Hooowaii, From mountain tops we have dreamed from sea to shining sea
Other noticeably fantastic lines include,
Here we are, at the dawn, and the morning, of a brand new day. … America, America, America is beautiful, beautiful, yes it is Imerica, yourmerica, ourmerica is beautiful
That's about as far as I could get through the song before developing a case of Spontaneous Lupus. It's just the same awful lines over and over and over again. They don't have enough content for a minute of song - let alone five. Instead of seeing this giant red flag as a notice to drop the project or at least develop it a lot more someone had the bright idea to just copy and paste several times. Full.O.Shit said about the work, "the meaning of this song is being proud of America. I wanted to write the new American anthem for this day and age for this generation." Any national pride is quickly replaced by embarrassment thanks to this travesty. If that song represents out generation then all is lost. Bush won. Terrorists won. Francis Scott Key would be spinning in his grave if he heard this rubbish. Unfortunately this song isn’t sweeping the nation thanks to it's amazing vocals, vivid lyrics, or inspirational meaning. Nope, this is the work of our tasteless radio gods. Station managers from coast to coast, both FM and satellite radio, have decided that this song should get as much air play as is technically possible. Perhaps it's the star studded line up or the inauguration flu which has the media in it’s grasp. Regardless it only serves to reinforce the idea that these stations are horribly out of touch and that radio deserves to fail. Much like this song. The song, for your masochist pleasure, follows.
If you're still interested you can download (watch if you're David Paterson) the song from Opera's website. It's free to download until 5pm Jan 20th. After which, I presume, you will have to pay. What's more patriotic than that?

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